"If I should call you up
Invest a dime
And say you belong to me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be
So happy together.
Who the fuck turned on the junkie-music? What the fuck, seriously?The party's only been going on for three hours and Cartman wouldn't-
Usually the 'drug-music' starts at 2 or 3 a.m., when everyone's tired of dancing and starts to slouch on the sofa to pass the joint around.
But, come on. 'So happy together'? Is Cartman trying to fucking kid me? I'm everything but happy, least of all happy together.
Because my boyfriend's too shy to admit he's mine in public thinking about it, he's never even said it to me. Even though it would be sort of hot. I mean, not everyone has a boyfriend this hot.
Not that anyone in South Park could say they are in a relationship. Stan and Wendy don't count. He's too much of a wuss to tell her he hates her face and she well, Wendy's not that prissy. She's been cheating on him for ages.
At least I know Kyle wouldn't cheat on me. Ever. By the way, where is my oh-so-amazing boyfriend-?
Right. Not here.
He's sitting on that dumb couch with Stan while Stan is busy drinking the last of his IQ away. Kyle's already looking for a bucket for the moron to puke into.
I kick the table-leg in anger and take another swig from my vodka-bottle. It's almost empty and at the rate we're all chugging the stuff, I better put aside some replenishment. Unless Kyle's coming home with me later. Then I won't need it.
But I have no idea whether he will.
Hell, if I wouldn't ever tell him when I wanna do it, we wouldn't have had sex yet.
Caue Kyle's really shy when it comes to sex.
Okay, maybe if I had his morals and would be dating someone like me, I'd be a little reserved too.
It took me long enough to even get him to do it with me. After that...accident. We've been together now for seven months, give or take a few days.
The first time we had sex was that 'accident'. Kyle was drunk for the first time and Stan himself was too gone to play watchdog anymore. Unfortunately I couldn't say I was any kind of clean when I started making out with him. Literally, since it was already past 2 a.m. And the joint'd already made its round.
Next morning we woke up together in bed and Kyle'd made his flight faster than I could wake up properly.
After that he wouldn't talk to me for almost a week and avoided me until I finally forced him to talk to me. He started to sob well, that's KyleTM for you and only stopped when I kissed him. After that, all was good. Well, almost. There was, and still is, the problem about how to handle our relationship in public and Kyle being a pussy about telling anyone. But other than that, everything's fine. Especially the sex. Seriously, I-
I almost drop my vodka bottle in surprise. I quickly glance at Stan, who's sauntering over here with a dumb grin plastered to his face, one arm around Kyle's shoulders. My boyfriend's cheeks are almost the same color as his hair and he's avoiding my eyes he knows how jealous I can get, when someone else touches him.
"What, Stan?" I snarl and take a step towards them, grabbing and pulling Kyle against my side. As if to say he's sorry, Kyle puts his arms around my waist and buries his head in my shoulder. - Sweet Jesus, I was still busy glaring down at Stan, why the hell did he have to do something so cute right then?
But when it comes to Kyle, I sort of like cute things.
I know it's sorta impolite, but I ignore Stan and hug Kyle closer. Immediately I feel him pressing against me and I could swear my heart just started beating a little faster.
Usually he doesn't show any sort o affection in public, but at the moment everyone at Cartman's house is too smashed to remember tomorrow.
"Uh, guys?" Stan slurrs and coughs. "What...um, are you doin'?"
Kyle flinches and moves away from me, "N-nothing."
"Hm," Stan makes a face that's probably supposed to look like he's thinking really hard and scratches his chin. "You wanna know something?" He's giggling like a little schoolgirl.
"What?" I growl. He just ruined a KyleTM moment. That bastard.
"You...," he hiccups in a high voice. "You're sooo cute."
Okay, maybe not that big a bastard.
Kyle's fingers are digging into my hipbone and I know what sort of look he must be giving me. But I don't care. Maybe it' about time we told the others. After all it's pretty high on a scale from one to shitty for me not to be able to touch him in public. Not even when it's just Stan with us. And I know it bothers Kyle just as much. I see the jealous glances he gives me when we walk by Stan and Wendy holding hands in school.
"Let's play somethin!" Stan says all of a sudden and dramatically straightens his back. "Yeah let's play something. Like..uh....a game."
"That...that one with the bottlesa and the...I...uh...I never;" he chortles, then tags Kyle away from me towards the couch with a rough pull. Fucking moron.
Angrily I stomp after them and make sure Kyle's sitting on my lap- can't have Stan thinking he can touch Kyle. But Stan seems to be busy recruiting the other drunken bodies.
It's pretty interesting how lushes can communicate among themselves. I mean, seriously, no one even halfway sober could understand a thing they trot out. But if you're as smashed as them, everything seems perfectly logical. Believe me, experience talking here. And I'm right: Wendy, Bebe, Craig, Tweek, Clyde, Token, Cartman and Butters are already weaving towards us and flop down in a small circle around the couch table. I don't know where the others are.
Either busy trying to get some or already fucking.
Stans crawiling up onto the couch table circuitously causing Kyle to jump up twice in panic to steady the moron- and starts explaining the rules. He wants to play 'I never'. Some idiotic game, that's only fun when you're totally wasted.
Everyone takes a can of beer and keeps it in their hands. Then whoever's turn it is says something like 'I have never had sex' and everyone who's already done it, has to take a sip from their drink.
This continues until everyone's too plowed to either understand what the fuck is going on, or to lift their drink off the table.
"Oooookay...," Bebe giggles and twirls a strand of her blond hair around her finger, while she's thinking hard. "I have never had sex at the park."
Giggling manically, she looks around waiting for someone to drink. Inthe end it's only Craig, Wendy and me have I mentioned that I'm usually the first to get completely shitfaced at this game?
"My turn!" Butters cries happily and holds his can high into the air. Moron. He really thinks whatever Stan or any of us make up is the epitome of awesome. Incredible, the things Butters gets excited about.
"I never....I have never taken a pee in the public pool."
Dude, what?! Is he serious? Alright, if he wants to know.
Curiously, I glance around the circle and exactly the people I'd expect to do this sort of thing take a swig: Wendy and Cartman. Wendy because she'd do just about anything that's disgusting and Catman...well, he never gives a shit about anything. No surprise there.
"Tweek, your turn," Butters waves his can in front of Tweek's face frantically, who giggles quietly and flinches.
"Hm, " he says and chews on his bottom lip. "I have never done it with a guy."
The way he says it gives me the worst sort of ideas him looking at Craig like that only makes it worse.
When I see the others take a swig, I quickly touch my can to my mouth as well. The others drinking are Wendy, Bebe, Craig and Clyde no big surprises there and, of course Kyle.
He only takes a small, hasty sip and moves around on my lap awkwardly, but it's pointless.
Everyone's seen him anyway. How do I know? Well, Stan's can dropping to the floor noisily, for one thing.
But he doesn't care about his beer seeping into the carpet at all. He's staring at Kyle, his eyes and mouth wide open.
"Y-You're serious?" he asks in shock. The others are eying Kyle in obvious amusement.
"I...umm, yeah," Kyle finally admits shyly and shrugs.
"WHO?!" Stan demands and jumps up. I roll my eyes in annoyance. This big-brother-complex is annoying as fuck. As if it were some sort of crime to have sex with a dude and not tell him. He really shouldn't bitch about this so much. I remember him getting into serious trouble for beating a guy that insulted Kyle to a bloody puddle on the pavement.
"Dude, calm the fuck down," I push him back down on the couch forcefully.
With a loud huff of indignation, he crosses his arms and chooses to sit next to Kyle. He's messing up the chronology of the game, since it would have been his turn.
Now it's upon Token (who doesn't look like he's able to talk) to think of something. He takes a gulp an announces, "I have never had sex in a pool."
Again it's Wendy, me and Craig who take a swig.
This continues for a while. I don't get any good blackmailing-material except for the fact that I probably beat Wendy at having sex in weird places. Kyle, along with Butters and Tweek, is the one drinking the least, even though Tweek is pretty wasted, too.
At least now I know that Butters's dreamed about doing it with a dude, Bebe's screwed a girl and Token and Cartman've had a threesome. (Even though I'm not so sure about the fatass. I mean, how could he get two people to do it with him?! Who the hell did he blackmail into this? Terence and Phillip or what?)
It's Stan's turn and he's not accountable by a long shot. Every now and then he giggles uncontrollably and has already taken gulps from his bottle twice, because he heard something entirely different from what was being said. T
here was nothing about him I didn't already know he'd had sex with Wendy, he's into guys just a little, he's already watched porn and he's swiped a sixpack at the local super market.
"Soooo," he squeezes his (third) can too tight (I'm already finishing my seventh) and watches as the metal bends. "I've never had sex with Kenny!"
The fuck? Has that joint already been passed 'round?!
"Does Kenny have to drink too?" Bebe asks, obviously confused.
"Jerking off doesn't count," Stan adds and grins. "So, no one wants to confess anything?"
Everyone looks around, except for Craig he mumbles something along the lines of 'bathroom'. Figures. I watch Kyle. His hands are shaking while he grips his can so tight, his knuckles go white.
Quickly he lifts the can to his mouth and takes a gulp.
If the glasstable didn't make such a loud noise when he knocked the empty metal-thing onto it, at least half of our circle wouldn't have noticed much of anything. (Why the hell do they still notice shit? I mean, Wendy can't even sit upright anymore!)
"Wha-!" Stan's unable to close his mouth. "You gotta be shittin' me, Kyle..."
He gives Kyle a bewildered stare, but the redhead doesn't get a chance to answer since Bebe and Wendy jump us, giving an ear-splitting squeal.
"Why didn't you say anything?!"
I push the girls away in annoyance, causing them to plunk to the ground, still laughing. They're unable to get back onto the couch by themselves. Cartman, Clyde and the others are still giving us a shocked stare.
Kyle turns around towards me, tears in his eyes. I know he imagined his outing to Stan a little different from this, but it can't be helped now. I take his trembling hands into mine. It's all I can do since quite frankly I'm too drunk myself for words of consolation.
"I...fuck," he sobs and jumps up only to dash from the room. My reaction time's too slow, so when I reach out to pull him back, he's long gone.
I sit there, paralyzed by shock and hear Cartman huffing.
"You're a pretty shitty lover, not going after him and all."
"Shut up, fatsass," I hiss. Actually I'm not angry at him. I just didn't think he'd say something so...thoughtful in a situation like this.
Without another word I jump up (and stumble back down only to get up again) and go after Kyle.
He's sitting on the sidewalk, out in the cold. His legs are pulled up to his chest, his face buried in his knees. I can see from here that he's shivering, which usually means he's crying.
Kyle seems to really hurt over this.
I flop down next to him, sure I bruised my ass doing that and pull him against my side. As if he'd been waiting for it, he throws his arms around me neck and sobs into it. My mood immediately plummets down a few levels. When Kyle feels shitty, I do too. Always.
"Oh, come on, babe," I whisper into his hair, "I bet Stan's not even angry. Just a little disappointed. He wouldn't hate you for being gay. He'd hate me too then, wouldn't he?"
"But...it's different with you!" he sobs forcefully, "People are expecting things like that from you....Stan...he hates me now!"
"Nah," I gingerly take his face into my hands and make him look at me. "Kyle, you're best friends. He wouldn't just let you go over something like this."
"No buts, okay?" I kiss him gently and he's responding right back.
Maybe all this crying and making a fuss was just an excuse to get away-?
When I try to pull away, he wraps his arms tighter around me and starts the tongue-war.
I roughly stroke the thin material of his t-shirt, imagining the pale skin under it and I (more or less) involuntarily get incredibly turned on. I place my hands on his hips and pull him tighter against me. He responds by kissing me back harder and climbing into my lap wantonly. He presses his ass right against my groin and I can't help but moan out loud, breaking our kiss.
Damn. He doesn't know what he just got himself into.
"Well, I could've spared myself the trouble to ask you who you had sex with."
Stan's dark voice causes us to jump apart.
Kyle gasps for air and stares up at him.
Stan's eyes are covered by his hair, shadows are eclipsing his face even more. He's standing with his back towards the bright light coming from Cartman's house.
My eyes are locked onto Kyle, though. His hair is pretty disheveled, his lips red and swollen, his t-shirt pulled up on one side and when my gaze wanders lower I see a small bulge in his pants.
Thehe. Victory is mine, once again.
If Stan continues to stand there he's gonna see what I did to Kyle firsthand.
"Stan...," Kyle coughs out, awkwardly moving around on my lap.
Baaad idea, cutie.
"Stan, I," he starts hastily and wants to get up, but I won't let him and get a good grip on his waist. He better not hit on the idea of leaving right now. "I can explain. I wanted to tell you, but-"
"Are you happy?" I can hear him swallow. It's official now: Stan isn't mad at Kyle at all. Moron. Getting Kyle scared like that, just because he can't control his jealousy. Fucker.
"I...yeah!" Kyle replies, bewildered.
He's giving me that glance and if I don't get to have him within the next few minutes, I'm gonna choke a bitch.
"More than happy."
Now. This instant. Pronto.
Stan hesitates. He keeps shifting from one foot to another. "Listen, Kyle, I'm sorry. I was being a dick and-"
"Can it," I growl and pull Kyle up with me. "You can talk about his some other time. We gotta do something."
"Huh? What do you guys have to do now? It's like 4 a.m.?"
I gab Kyle's hand and pull him in the direction of Cartman's garden. I heard his mum invested in a pool
"Hey! WAIT! What do you have to do now?!" Stan calls after us, frozen in place.
I roll my eyes and when we're almost around the corner of the house, I turn around to yell, "We have to make sure Kyle can have a drink the next time someone says 'I've never done it in a pool'!"
I can't see me loving nobody but you
for all my life
when you're with me
baby the skies'll be blue
for all my life
"Kenny? You awake?" I turn around with a jerk and spot Kyle.
Next thing I notice is that I must have fallen asleep in Cartman's garden house, where the dumb pool is located. At least I didn't sleep alone.
"Morning, honey," I kiss him lightly.
A quick downward-glance tells me that we're both buttnaked.
"I wanna leave here. We did it in Cartman's pool! Cartman! I'm in no mood to let him know. He'd never let me live that down!"
"Alright," I mumble, watching Kyle get dressed. He throws my own clothes into my face. Whether I want to or not, I'll have to get dressed now, too. This sort of early morning-exercice can only he forgiven is he makes me a big cup of coffee.
Or has sex with me again. Whichever.
On our way over to the kitchen, we're holding hands. I stroke his wrist with my thumb and a small smile pulls the corners of his mouth up. He stops aprubtly and kisses me lightly.
"I...umm," he bites his lip and leans his forehead against my shoulder so I can't see his flushed face. "That...in the pool....That was awesome."
I grin conceitedly and kiss the top of his head.
"I know," gingerly, I lift his kind and kiss him on the lips once more. He grips my t-shirt (which I put on the wrong way round) and whimpers. He presses closer to me and lets me grip his hair maybe a little too tightly.
"Hi, guys," Kyle gives a terrified yelp and jumps a few feet away from me. His lower lips shines wetly and I lean down to give it a lick. He gives me a glance that, if looks could kill, would stab me to death with a spoon. (That would hurt. Experience talking.)
"I went out and got muffins for everyone!" Wendy pipes, prancing out the kitchen happily.
What the fuck.
"There's coffee, too." At least something.
When we enter the kitchen I see Cartman, Craig, Token and Stan are already up and about. They all sit there, cup in hand, looking rather whacked. Especially the fatass looks like his hangover is killing him.
Ignoring Stan's wary glances, I sit down on the counter, Kyle leaning on it between my legs. I push the muffins away from me. I really don't have to eat things that hurt my eyes at a time like this, no thanks.
Next to us, Cartman gives a spiteful laugh. Asshole.
"Milk and sugar?" Wendy asks sweetly.
"I think," Cartman says, before I can even open my mouth, and immediately all eyes are on him and me, "Kenny needs his coffee black today. So he'll recover. Because, thanks to these two retards, I have to have the pool cleaned."
Stan stares at us in bewilderment, Craig starts to grin diabolically, Wendy drops the milk carton and Token pours a ton of sugar into his coffee in shock.
"Ah...what?!" Stan demands.
I frantically try to think of some way to turn the situation around, but Kyle renders that unnecessary. He clinks his spoon loudly against his cup and everyone clamps their hands onto their ears, giving a cry of pain. Cartman almost falls out his chair.
I think I might just go ahead and love Kyle.