"I doubt this is a good idea," L's eyebrows were scrunched up whilst he tapped the tip of his nose with his index and middle fingers. "Highly doubt it."
It turned out that the others had been instructed by L to hide themselves all around the room, as a means of trying to find out whether Light was Kira and planning something.
However, more due to luck than the college student's innocence nothing important had been talked about and so L made his eccentric entrance by crawling out of the closet behind the couch, very nearly giving both Light and Beyond Birthday a heart attack and causing the latter to topple off the couch in a rather ungraceful mess of flailing limbs.
"Why, though? You can't very well have two people that look exactly the same, safe for the shape of their noses, one of them being a known criminal move around Tokyo's hotels," Light explained, shrugging. "He can just bunk in with me. No questions asked by he public."
Light knew that it was risky to be so straightforward about his request, but then again, if he was innocent, wouldn't he be the same way?
"Are you aware of the fact that he's an insane killer?"
Light rolled his eyes. "Couldn't help but notice."
"Hey, don't talk about Beyond like Beyond's not even here," the criminal threw in, licking jam off the inside of his wrist.
Light gulped slightly at the sight and quickly tried to distract himself, "Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?"
"Beyond is speaking in third person because L was talking to you about Beyond while Beyond was here like he was not here, so beyond is trying to make a point that Beyond is in fact here," the raven haired man replied nonchalantly, proceeding to try and stick his tongue down to the bottom of the glass full of jam and subsequently mashing his face into the edge of the jar.
"Beyond is making a point that he suffers from insanity," Light raised an eyebrow at the criminal's weird antics. Pretending to be dumb was something he definitely had down pat.
"Beyond doesn't suffer from insanity; he enjoys it! He does not enjoy having L talk about him, though."
"I didn't say anything disrespectful," L deadpanned, staring at his clone blankly
"Beyond is highly offended! Now Beyond shall get another glass of jam and-"
"Shut up, you two crazy panda-people," Light moaned, rubbing his temples. The two of them had been subtextually insulting each other for the past hour and he was getting slightly sick of it.
Both L and Beyond countered his outburst with blank stares, sitting in their hunched-over positions completely motionless, their hands seemingly frozen at whatever they had been doing, leaving L's thumb and index finger gripping a spoon with a cherry on top. Light eyed the cherry sceptically for it was swaying back and forth on the tip of the spoon dangerously.
"Anyway," L was the first to snap out of it. "Alright, so it's decided then. You," L adressed the criminal directly to not provoke further third person assaults, "will live with Light and assist the task force here alongside him."
"Alriiiiight," Beyond purred, grinning widely.
"I agreed to everything you said without complaint. And don't think I have nothing better to do than watch you write down names in that creepy notebook," Beyond's voice had changed back to its natural dark tone the minute Light had closed his bedroom door behind them. "And now I have some demands of myself to make."
"Is that so?" Light scrolled down on his computer so he could add more names of criminals. "What sort of demands are we talking here?"
"First off, I wanna see this Shinigami-person accompanying you," BB demanded, flopping down on Light's bed.
Rolling his eyes, Light threw the Death Note at Beyond. Upon catching it, the criminal's eyes widened ever so slightly whilst Ryuuk chuckled. "So, you're ...a god of death?"
"Yup," the shinigami replied, devouring another apple.
"Hm, you're ugly...," Beyond mused, pulling his legs up to his chest before he fixed his glance back on Light. "Anyway. I have one more demand."
"Go ahead," Light spun his computer chair around so he was facing the be bed but instead found his face mashed into a clothed hard chest. "Care to explain?"
"You, pretty boy, will provide some entertainment for me," Beyond bent at the middle comically so his face was in front of Light's. "That would also give L less reason to suspect you for taking me in."
"Are you saying that we should pretend to be..together? As in," Light's eyes went wide as Beyond's grin merely broadened, "together together?!"
"That's right," the criminal straightened up and made himself comfortable on Light's lap. "Starting now, honey."
"Fine, fine," Light knew he had to agree to the criminal's terms if he wanted his secret identity of Kira to stay just that secret. Upon spending almost two days with the other, he'd come to realize that he was simply a sociopath always his own advantage in mind. And if his advantage of having a 'fuckbuddy' for lack of a better word, wasn't existent, he would simply try to rat him out to L, thus getting closer to the detective. "But you'll sleep on the floor."
"No!" Beyond exclaimed. His eyes widened comically, while he pulled out the boxcutter and waved it around madly. Light took a fearful step back. "I'm a murderer! I can't sleep on the floor! I'll die! Do you hear me? Die! That means I'll be fucking dead, perished, deceased, passed on, gone to the light at the end of the tunnel, kicked the bucket, gone to Davy Jones' locker! UNDERSTAND?" At this he pushed Light out of his chair and onto the bed. "If I die then I won't breathe, my heart won't beat, and I won't look sexy anymore! Don't you know I'm too hot to die?"
Beyond still waved the boxcutter around madly, a little too close to Light's face for comfort. The college student, gulped, gripping the other's shoulders, trying to calm him down. "Alright, alright, fine! You can sleep in here with me, okay?!"
Beyond seemed to randomly regain his composure while he sat down on Light's middle section. "So, you agree with all of my conditions?"
"I do," Light replied, rolling his eyes. "If you're that desperate."
He knew it wasn't exactly smart to taunt someone who had a knife, but he couldn't help it. There was no way he would just accept everything the maniac threw at him without any sort of retort or comeback. He still had some dignity left.
"Goody~" Beyond sing-songed happily, but his eyes didn't lose the dark expression. Fast like a snake he pulled Light's blue shirt up over his head and cut it into pieces while Light stared on in horror.
"What the hell are you doing to my clothes?!"
"Shut up," came the gruff reply whilst Beyond made to tie Light's wrists together over his head. He crawled down Light's body until he faced the brunette's tummy. Grinning like a cheshire cat, he placed the tip of his boxcutter gently just over Light's navel and let it dig into the skin.
"That hurts, you know," Light snarled, gritting his jaw. "Watch where you're putting that thing,"
No matter how retarded and pointless he thought this was, he would still go through with every single one of Beyond's demands. And in return, he would get all the answers concerning the eyes he needed.
And, the eyes to assist him, of course.
"No worries," BB cackled, pushing the box cutter a little farther in on purpose, "I'm watching your numbers. You're still good to go."
"Well, that's splendid," Light remarked sarcastically. "Could you hurry up with your sick fantasies? Not all of us are enjoying this, you know."
"Ohh, there goes another year. Tumble, tumble..."
"Huh?! What the hell did you do?"
"Not me. It must've been something you planned."
"Listen, you crazy person, I don't need you for this. I can write your name in the Death Note anytime I want to."
"Not right now you can't," BB let out a few barks of laughter, throwing his head back. His cheek gave a sharp pain, but he ignored it. There was no way he would let Light Yagami, Kira, win this. If the pretty boy could ignore pain, why shouldn't he? "Anyway. If you kill me
well, let's just say those numbers above your head aren't set in stone. I've seen them shrink on people time and again when I-"
"No need to go into detail."
"You're acting like I got Santa hidden inside there," Light quirked an eyebrow at the raven's happy grin.
"Haha, yeah right," BB leaned down so his face hovered inches from Light's bloody cheek. "This is better than some old fat guy,"
Light felt the corners of his mouth twitch. Insane people really were something.
"Is that so? Don't accidentally kill me, B, I'm warning you-"
"Oh, so you do know what actual killing looks like?" Beyond cackled inhumanely, throwing his head back, "A real surprise what with your faggy journal...uh, notebook."